


Pick-Up Lines

by lemoninagin



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Pick-Up Lines, Renaishizaya, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 00:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5268872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemoninagin/pseuds/lemoninagin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All's fair in love and wars with words</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pick-Up Lines

“Are you an element?” 

The familiar gruff voice was accompanied by heavy footsteps, signaling to Izaya that Shizuo had just finished his shower and had come back to reclaim his victory, failure not being something he accepted easily. Izaya quirked an eyebrow and raised his gaze over the book he'd been reading to face Shizuo's devious smirk, his eyes sparkling with mirth. He was wearing only low slung pajama pants as he padded over to the couch, trying to shake the excess water out of his hair by ruffling it roughly with a towel.

“...Because I’d periodically do you on a table.”

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya sighed, shaking his head solemnly as he returned his attention to his book, absently flicking a page. “Stop. It's getting late and you're only further embarrassing yourself now. Just accept that you lost and move on.”

“Tch.” Shizuo flung the wet towel over a chair as he passed it and plopped down beside Izaya on the couch, slinging an arm behind his head. “You never play by the rules, so what do you care if I bend them a little bit.” Shizuo snorted and scooted so close to him that Izaya could smell his sickly sweet shampoo and musky body wash – an odd combination of strawberry and spice. Shizuo leaned over and spoke into his ear, damp hair tickling his neck.

“'Sides, I think someone's just scared of losing this time,” he goaded as he propped his legs up on the coffee table, smiling happily when his words apparently affected Izaya enough that he felt him stiffen beside him. Still, he didn't turn around.

“...Fine, Shizu-chan. You want to play dirty, I'll play dirty.” 

Izaya lowered his book and closed it, placing it neatly in his lap. He tucked his chin onto Shizuo's bare shoulder, and breathed in his scent deeply, a lazy smirk quirking his lips.

“Are you my pinky toe?” Izaya trilled while dancing his fingers up Shizuo's arm, tracing over the scars there as he spoke. “Because I want to bang you on every piece of furniture in the house.”

The rules were simple: Spout out cheesy pick up lines until the other either laughed, or failed to respond with anything within the next minute. 

It was something frivolous they had started after they had dated for a few months, feeling slightly uneasy at the peace that surrounded their new found lovey-dovey relationship. It didn't feel completely right, not having some sort of conflict.

Unfortunately, it seemed to bring out the worst in Shizuo when he lost. An extra guideline had to be instated because of that - they could only play once a day due to Shizuo's constant attempts to redeem himself by coming back a bit later when he'd collected himself, angrily spouting off pick up lines in an intimidating manner (and often dangling Izaya several feet off the ground while doing so). After those times had ended in a few bloody disasters, they had both reluctantly agreed upon the once a day rule.

They wanted to keep the flame going, but not quite like _that_.

However, Shizuo sometimes still insisted on being difficult, and Izaya was currently too exhausted to put up a fight against his ridiculousness.

Having lost the game only an hour before from laughing hysterically for several minutes at Izaya's deadpan delivery of, “Are you spaghetti? Because I’d love you to meat my balls”, Shizuo was set on trying another angle in order to come out on top in a game he rarely ever won. While he'd been showering, a great idea had popped into his head, one that he was sure would throw Izaya for a loop for once. He laid a hand on Izaya's thigh, fiddling with the loose material of his sweatpants.

“I like every bone in your body, especially mine,” Shizuo countered, trying hard not to chuckle over the words.

“Your soul isn't the only thing I wanna suck.”

Izaya closed his tired eyes and pressed a kiss to Shizuo's jugular, preparing for a quick game as usual. 

“If you were a sharpie, you'd be ultra fine.” 

Izaya stopped his ministrations on Shizuo's arm and blinked.

“Hmm, no doubt about that,” he murmured sleepily against Shizuo's skin. “I’m feeling a little bit off today, but Shizu-chan definitely turned me on.”

Shizuo held back a snort. _Cheeky bastard, come on. I know that caught you off guard._ He slipped his hand from Izaya's thigh and used it to run it through silky locks instead. One of his fingers dipped down to trace lightly over quirked and smooth lips, which pursed and gave a chaste peck to his knuckle.

“Of all your beautiful curves, your smile is my favorite.”

Izaya paused to inhale sharply. He exhaled slowly, perturbed by where Shizuo was steering their game. It usually only got raunchier as they went on, never did it evolve to something so...

“...Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.”

“I’m no organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart,” Shizuo practically sang, tone low and deep as he wrapped his arm around Izaya and pulled him even closer. The book slid off his lap and hit the floor with a _thud_ , but neither seemed to notice.

... _Sickening_. 'Sickening' was totally the word that came to Izaya's mind just then. Definitely not 'endearing'. Or 'sweet'. Absolutely _not_ 'flattering'.

Not in the least.

Nope. Just gross and disgusting. That had to be the reason behind the odd flutter in his stomach then, though he snuggled further into the inviting heat of Shizuo's body. His eyes narrowed, although Shizuo couldn't relish in the gesture since his face was buried in his chest.

“You're so hot I could roast my meat on you, baby.”

Shizuo bit his lip, a laugh threatening to tumble out. The flea wasn't going to make this easy, of course – he never did.

“If you were a basketball, I’d never shoot.” Shizuo waited patiently for a few seconds until Izaya tsked and prompted a drowsy, “Why?” with a roll of his eyes.

“Because I’d always miss you.”

_Shit._

“You...have pretty eyeballs. Of course they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.” 

Shizuo looked to the left, contemplative until he shrugged and nodded his head in agreement. There was no denying that one.

“There’s only one thing I want to change about you,” Shizuo drawled softly, content and rubbing Izaya's arm soothingly. If he didn't win with words, perhaps he could lull the tick to sleep before he ran out of cute things to say. “Your last name.”

“Shizu-chan!” Izaya gasped, head snapping up to sudden attention. 

His cheeks were deeply flushed as his eyes flickered up, aghast and mouth agape while Shizuo only grinned, eyebrows raised inquisitively. They stared at each other levelly for a moment, Izaya briefly unsure how to continue from there.

Trying to coax his heart into beating less rapidly, Izaya grumbled with a pout after clearing his throat, “That's...underhanded, you brute.” He chopped a shaky hand through the air with finality. “Disqualified! T-this is my win again for sure...”

“Funny, I don't see what's wrong with it. It follows the rules just fine.”

Izaya opened his mouth to argue, but Shizuo merely tapped his wrist, pretending as if he had a watch he was gesturing to that was counting down invisible seconds to Izaya's eventual undoing. Izaya glared, puffing his cheeks adorably. Shizuo wouldn't accept such a half-assed attempt at derailing him, as he had figured.

_So the brute wants to play that kind of dirty, huh?_

“I see Shizu-chan's been drinking skim milk lately. Is that because he thinks he's fat?” 

Shizuo cocked his head, intrigued by Izaya's abrupt change in tone. Izaya settled himself so his head was propped on Shizuo's lap, stretching his limbs on the couch languidly as he laid down on his back.

“Because you're not. You could drink whole if you wanted to.”

_Don't give in, don't give in. That pest..._

“Are you from Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.” 

Shizuo brushed Izaya's bangs back from his face, curling some strands around his finger with a twirl. Izaya sighed, eyes slipping closed again.

“Sorry, I can’t hold on…I’ve already fallen for you.”

Shizuo blanched, fingers drifting across Izaya's cheek tenderly. “Can I punch you in the face...” he whispered, head hovering close to Izaya's. “...with my lips?”

“Shizu-chan...”

Shizuo considered the question to be rhetorical as he captured Izaya's gorgeous smile, moving leisurely against him in a sensual kiss. Izaya's eyes fluttered back open in surprise, but he hungrily pressed his mouth harder against Shizuo's. It didn't carry their usual ravenous appetite – it was a simple exploration of passion and bliss, only light nibbling and sucking gently. Izaya had just been getting into it when Shizuo pulled away. They stared - eyes locked as if in an embrace - both flushed and panting for a bit.

“...you're so _embarrassing_...” Izaya finally admitted quietly, rolling to his side to hide his mortified face.

“Yeah, but I know you love it, Flea.” Shizuo laid down, bringing Izaya with him, wrapping his arms around his small frame from behind as they nestled into the soft cushions. He gave a weak chuckle, eyelids growing heavy and grin pressed into Izaya's neck. “Plus, I won fair and square this time.”

_You idiot_ , Izaya thought as a pleasant wave of warmth and happiness washed over him, his last coherent musing before sleep overtook him.

_You've already won more times than you'll ever know._

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look, I actually contributed something to fluff month ^_^
> 
> Credit for the pick up lines goes to various places on the internet since there's no way I could think up such things


End file.
